Recommended Poses for Upcoming Lines

Given the recent focus on "unique" poses for sports picks figures, I thought I'd offer some suggestions for new poses that would definitely provide some freshness and creativity to the sports action figure lines. My complaint about the LT figure, for example, was that the pose wasn’t appropriate for the player; in today’s blog I’ll present some creative poses that do match up well with the player being depicted.

The first would obviously be Barry Bonds. Given that the majority of sports enthusiasts believe Bonds is a juicer, it would make great sense to capitalize on that and commemorate his commitment to pharmacological athleticism. I would recommend two different poses that would be huge sellers, for sure. The good news is that both figures would require little in the way of re-tooling; existing poses could be tweaked to make them even more popular with fans.

The first is a reissue of the Bonds 12” figure. Instead of leaving his hands empty, pointing to the sky in an apparent affirmation of religious faith (an absurd pose for someone who seems to have such little regard for the Golden Rule), I would instead use the same pose with a book placed in his hands. The book, The Steroid Handbook, would fit the pose, as well as the average fan’s perception of Bonds, very well.

The second would show the cork-headed ball cracker in the midst of his chemically enhanced swing. This figure would represent some true creativity and unique marketing opportunities for McFarlane. Using the sculpt for the “700th Home Run” Commemorative figure, McFarlane could simply remove the bat and drill a narrow hole into Bonds’ hands. Then, proud owners could insert the syringe they keep on hand for juicing or shooting up heroin into Bonds’ hands. This “Sultan of Syringe” Commemorative Edition would be a fun collectible and needle caddy at the same time and could be marketed effectively to barbell boys and junkies across the country.

The NFL offers some delightful opportunities as well.

Michael “And they call it Puppy Love” Vick could be the first in a new series of figures to cross product lines and incorporate components from Sports Picks AND McFarlane Military figures. Taking the dog from Military Series 4 Dog Trainer figure and matching it up with Vick’s two-pack pose results in a magical figure that is sure to delight sports fans and dog fight aficiandos as well. I can foresee a 3” version of this as a stadium exclusive for some Tijuana dog fighting arena as well.

Daunte Culpepper’s legacy at Minnesota will be long remembered – exciting football, hookers, sex rides on rented boats . . . just makes you proud to support the Vikings, doesn’t it? Well, McFarlane could come out with another cross-line release by merging Culpepper’s NFL Series 9 figure with the Little Red Riding Hood from the Twisted Fairy Tale line. Ahhhhh, Football and tawdry sex . . . a winning combination.

Many have recommended the Ray Lewis figure with butcher knife in hand so I won’t recreate that here. The new NFL 2” team sets could be expanded to include the Cincinnati Bengals in prison stripes. Not a new pose, but certainly a fun – and appropriate – new paint style. This same paint scheme could be rolled out to about half the players in the NBA as well.

OK, I’m just having a little fun with all this. The really sad thing is – each of these suggestions would be a more appropriate pose than showing LaDainian Tomlinson sitting on his ass on the bench!